Racing After 50

Am I mad to contemplate entering a race in which there is a strong possibility that I will come DFL (dead F***** last). Perhaps, but strangely enough, this aspect is actually one of the draws.

I have a precedent; back in the days of my late prime, a friend and I raced as a team in a ski mountaineering race on the Gran Paradiso in Italy.  Admittedly there were only 4female team finishers and we were 4th, but also last, by a long way. It was a particularly humbling experience that only now can I truly laugh at. There we were thinking we were really fit and having splashed out on matching fluorescent pink one piece race suits, only to finish by the narrowest of margins. We squeaked through the checkpoint time cut off and on the long descent had the ski race sweepers nipping at our heels as we tried to get exhausted legs to ski downhill after completely trashing them on the up.

I was late to the whole racing party having only started when I reached 40. But since then I’ve done at least one a year, sometimes even landing a spot on the podium. Racing has become a way of challenging myself, yes I like to beat others, but really it’s the external stimulus to push myself to go a bit quicker or further than I would otherwise.

Before my last race I was already beginning to question whether I needed races. Do we want to stay in our comfort zones as we get older? I signed up because it looked like it would be fun. A nice, sociable, event to finish my racing career, 15years after my first ultra. The Lakeland 50 (miles) is a big affair in the Lake District, UK. I could write a whole blog article all about this iconic race and the training but most relevant to this post is the glorious memory of me finishing something I wasn’t sure I was still capable of doing. The sprint into Coniston church hall in the middle of the night will live with me forever and was worth all the sweat and tears. It’s a good reason to still race.

I think I peaked in my performance at 50 and have been going downhill since. Whilst men continue to race into their 50s and 60s there’s a big decline for women. Menopause probably has something to do with it. I suspect the declining speed and risk of coming last or nearly last is at least part of the reason. Whilst the atmosphere at many Uk races encourages mass participation even if you aren’t quick, in Germany and Switzerland this isn’t the case. Race time cut offs are rarely generous.

After getting a grade 2 sprained ankle 5 weeks before the CCC (Courmayeur, Champex, Chamonix  race, part of the UTMB week of ultra trail races) I was forced to find another alternative avenue to feel satisfaction with my season and blunt the disappointment with not doing this hard to get into race. Later that autumn I did 2 very challenging but glorious marathon distance runs just me and the mountains. They were arguably way more fun than the race I’d missed, so maybe I don't need racing.

Now at 56 I feel I’ve finally put together the ingredients to perform a bit better and so whereas last year I couldn’t imagine wanting to sign up for a ‘hard arse’ race where I might come last. Now, I find myself seriously considering it. I want to test out whether all the sprints and strength training are the key to slowing my decline. I want the extra push from having an event, to train hard. I’ve consistently swopped steady volume running for more interval based runs but I think it’s the strength gains that excites me the most. It’s taken me far too long to stop racing my younger self - that’s definitely a road to nowhere good now, but not giving in to the internal voice that tells me to take the easy road is now we’re my challenge lies.

My race is uphill only, to the top of Catogne. It’s big, the mountain looms large like a volcano as you drive south from Lake Geneva and it’s opposite my house. There’s a shorter distance but, for my slow twitch muscle fibres that would be worse and lets face it I know I can finish that. No, like many peoples dreams it’s the big monster that I want, 1933m+ in 8km. Did I mention; my strength is downhill running not up?

Last year was the first year this distance ran and there was only 1 woman in my age group. One of the perks of getting older is that you care less and less what other people think of you. I’m pretty sure this happens universally and I’m certainly more secure with who I am. Somebody has to be last and given the scale of the climb there really should only be pride. But what if I am miles behind everyone else? There is a time cut off, high up, to avoid this but it’s definitely still a concern. Not to mention making the time cut off at all. I don’t want to keep the volunteers managing the event hanging around on the top of what will probably be a freezing mountaintop? The finishers will likely be descending as I still climb, encouraging I’m sure but I know I’ll be embarrassed to be going so slow. Vanity I know, I know, just being honest, what can I say I’m a work in progress and not sure I’m ready to suffer so publicly.

As I ponder whether to sign up, other questions pop up in my brain; at what age/stage should we give up doing challenging things? After all surely part and parcel of growing old is accepting the inevitable decline.  If the 93 year old in our village is anything to go by the answer is never. All that changes is what’s hard. He walked with a stick around our steep village every day to stimulate his mind and body. It obviously wasn’t easy but he kept going pretty much until the end of his life. I want to be like him. But I can’t help but wonder, do I need the pressure of racing to push myself that extra mile or to go faster? Hmm not so sure

Postscript: as luck would have it, circumstances got in the way of this race this year so I have another year to train and ponder.